I was never good at what everyone else did, I was scared of trying out on anything because I feared failing. I always wanted to be cool and fit in like everyone else around me.
Peoples opinions shaped me. I would literally get depressed by one slight negative comment about me. I compared myself with people I admired and would beat myself up for not meeting up their standards.
Then in 2013 during my long holiday break, Everyone else was getting a job or doing something productive but I chose to stay home. It wasn’t easy, I had to help out with home chores and just stay indoors- reading novels, watching T.V and so on. That’s around the same time I quit Facebook ( I sometimes pop in to check on messages from pals I can’t give my phone number) and decided to have a deep conversation with myself.
I reviewed my past, present and what I want for my future. I fully committed my Life to christ and decided to start a new chapter of life. It was the best choice, not easy though but I’m enjoying the ride so far.Along the way I learnt what loving one self means:-
Caring about oneself
Growing up, I’ve always been a sickly kid. At 13 years I had ulcers and anxiety attacks (I rarely get them no more unless I’m super stressed out)…it was so hard for me and always felt alone but then I learnt how to take care of myself eating well, keeping fit, drinking plenty of water. Just the simple things I used to ignore have created an impact on my health.
Taking responsibility for oneself
You don’t always have to give an excuse or blame the people around you for the bad situations you undergo. Yes, people may cause you pain and whatever but its your responsibility to choose on how to react on such situation. Will you hold on to the pain, guilt, anger, suffering or will you let go and create a space for positivity?
This may sound so “flat” but this is one of the things I always took for granted. I never believed I deserved anything good. I saw myself as a useless being for being odd. You’ve probably heard/read this before, don’t compare yourself with others learn to see yourself special and unique. Be nice to yourself, respect You coz you deserve better always. Embrace yourself, treat yourself to good stuff for being You. If you respect yourself everyone else will coz you’ll have set standards for them.
Who are you? (This should have been the first point coz its more important) You know how we research about things we care about and think they’re more important than ourselves!! that shouldn’t be the case. Know yourself on your Own (does that make sense?) I mean don’t ask for people’s opinion to define yourself. Just do the research on your own.This takes time,it might be a life long process but its worth it.Its important coz it will help you be realistic and honest about your strengths and weaknesses.
You won’t have to strain trying out for a singing group and maybe you are better at dancing.