I have had my own set of struggles with anxiety. Phases where I just want to lay in bed and shut the world out.
I wake up in the morning and all I want to do is cry because all I hoped and prayed for was to die. People suspecting you’re not okay and wanting to cheer you up is the worst feeling ever; my heart beat always racing, feeling shaky, my appetite lost and not being able to breathe in social circumstances. But still I would be lying if I told you I know and understand exactly what you’re going through. I can’t! Cause we both know how this invisible illness affects people differently.
The only thing I’m sure of is we both have our good and bad days. Nobody will get that and you don’t really have to constantly apologize and feel guilty about it. I know how cliché this may sound but you are strong; You might not see it now but the fact that you unwillingly push yourself through day-to-day activities that makes you awesome!
Please stop blaming yourself! When you blame and shame yourself you tend to hurt yourself more. Treat yourself as you would a friend with malaria. Would you tell a friend that they are weak for taking paracetamol? To just snap out of it? No, you would give them so much compassion and kindness. Please be gentle to your aching heart.
I’m sorry have to deal with the stigma surrounding anxiety and mental illness in general. You don’t really know who to reach out for help cause all people say to you is “Life is to short to worry” and “It’s all in your head” or my favorite line “Let it go!”. You are not a stereotype and you are not worthless so don’t let the ignorant people around you put you down.
I normally don’t like hearing this when I’m high on anxiety but it’s the truth. It get better! Things will eventually get better! Maybe not today or tomorrow but a time will come when you’ll wake up feeling refreshed and ready to face the world. Don’t push it, just take things slow but mark my words one day you will tell your story. You have been to hell and back and the world needs you and your story!
Over To You …
What is the one thing you would want people to know about your Mental Illness?
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