Chit Chat, Personal

WHERE HAVE I BEEN?| COMING OUT OF A FUNK

Hey Earthlings,

Guess who it is? I hope you did not forget about me. I wouldn’t blame you though, after disappearing from this space for about two weeks – I’m so sorry, the break was never intentional. Life has been getting in the way and I accidentally ended up being trapped in my head.

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First, I’ll have to apologize. I feel like I let you down for not keeping my promise to publish a post twice a week these past weeks. I don’t take you for granted I promise and I know it might be hard to believe that but really I don’t, please find it in your heart to go easy on me

What happened is …

I became overwhelmed with work, chasing money and actively pushing important decisions to be made under the rag and now everything is catching up with me thus the reason of being stuck. Literally, my mind stopped processing information and details the normal way and I stopped functioning.

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Let me break it down to you

For those who don’t know, I happen to have two daytime jobs – nothing cool, just an eight to five Internship at the government offices on weekdays and a six to nine job managing a retail store on weekdays and nine to nine on weekends. I’ll give you a minute to process that. I started selling earrings sometime last year and I’m trying to expand and try out other jewelry and accessories, that is my side hustle and if I’m being honest, it is draining!

Finally, on the decision-making category I have just been simply putting off making decisions because I’m anxious and my reality sucks. I need to follow-up on school issues but I can’t  seem to commit and just do it, I just find myself saying I’ll do it next week but next week never comes and now here we are three months down the line!

I am tired!

Literally exhausted to the bone since the first day of the New Year. But I couldn’t admit that, not to myself and the people around me how could I voice my struggle of being tired and drained physically, mentality and emotionally at the very ripe age of the year. I pushed through migraines, body aches, and emotional instability thinking I could do this, that is until my mind slowed down, my steps became painful and I couldn’t write a thing … I tried but my mind was blank. I just couldn’t continue pretending that everything is fine, masking my pain and struggles. I became visibly irritable ask my sister!

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I am going through BURNOUT

This has happened before and I remember making a promise to myself never to let myself drown. I can’t avoid it for sure, but I want to be more aware. Aware that I am struggling with balancing work with my personal space, I’m aware, I’m overwhelmed and I need a break, I’m aware that I’m angry, moody and disappointed with myself and I need to forgive me, I’m aware that I let my readers down and most important I’m aware that I need to re-invite God into my life.

So in case you’re wondering where I have been, I have been wallowing in self-pity, avoiding reality and aching mentally, physically and emotionally cause I’m overwhelmed. But it’s time to come out of this funk because I made a promise to myself never to let myself drown!

Over To You …

How have you been? I’d like to know what you have been up to.

Thank you for reading. New post every Tuesday and Friday.

With Love, Jade J.

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